- BORN
- Carlisle, Pennsylvania. 1961. (Eleven pounds. two ounces. My mother is a saint.)
- RESIDENCE
- Seattle, Washington 1995 - Present (Proud co-owner of a 1905 Ballard farmhouse whose mortgage will be fully paid just in time for my 80th birthday)
- Previous: California (1994) Alaska (1989 - 1993) Maryland (1980 - 1989), Illinois (1980) Indiana (1980) Pennsylvania 1961 - 1979
- 26 addresses in 30 years.
- EDUCATION
- Carlisle High School. Class of 1979. 48th percentile. Adolescent Underachiever.
- University of Maryland. Six years. Three majors. Departed sans degree.
- RESUME
- Lawn Care Technician | One push mower. Three acres. Excellent tanning.
- Gas Station Attendant | Yeagy's Texaco. $2.10/Hour.
- Dish Washer | Dickinson College Food Service
- Door to Door Books Salesman | Summer, 1980 Tour of the American Heartland
- Short Order Cook | How about scrambled eggs? I can do eggs.
- UPS Package Sorter | Four days. Shortest Teamsters' tenure on record.
- Carpet Factory Machinists' Helper | Two words. Forklift Races
- Yearbook Editor | University of Maryland
- Film and Camera Salesman | 15% Employee Discount
- Photographer
- Barfly (In Training)